By Peter Larkum

Mental Health Speaker

To help put this article into practice, below I’ve written up 15 key phrases to adopt a healthy hope mindset along with 3 gut-punching-ly brilliant quotes by Angela Duckworth (author of Grit). Jump there now.

Cheeseburger hope 🍔 is dangerous.

But… "what is cheeseburger hope?" you say.

It's the feeling you get when you hear a ‘motivational story.’ It's…

Using social media to feel inspired
Most self-help books
Emotion without action

It's hope content that’s hyper-processed—packaged to make you feel good—but leads to overconsumption and sugar crashes.

But, let’s backup… what is hope?

Simply put, it’s a positive expectation.

This means it can be incredibly good and incredibly dangerous.

Because when a positive expectation goes unmet you get…

Disappointment 👎

Disappointment isn’t possible without first having hope. So a lot of hurt people try not to get their hopes up at all. If you experience enough disappointment, you stop expecting good things. Then you begin to disconnect.

So we need healthy hopes… in our work, relationships, futures, and for ourselves.

Sky-high hopes and big dreams can crash as fast as they climb. (Kind of like fast-food!)

So, maybe we want more nutritionally-rich “hope food”:

Positive expectations of good, change, and beauty… over an extended time horizon.
Positive expectations… with grit!

We want our healthy hope to be rooted:

first in the “process”
second in the “outcome”

Both the journey and the destination are important.

Being rooted in the process means expecting some delays, setbacks, and surprises… and not letting them knock us off course. Getting back up, each time.

Have hope and take a breather.

Because most big dreams are a marathon, not a sprint. And for that, you need to eat right.

(Note to self… cut back on cheeseburgers 🍔.)

15 Key Phrases To Adopt A Healthy Hope Mindset

Healthy hope sounds like…

#1. “Things will work out”

Why? Challenges, setbacks, and surprises will come. You can’t catastrophise when you believe that, one way or another, things will work out.

#2. “I’ll land on my feet”

#3. “I’m not sure when it will happen, but I’m doing the right things”

#4. “I trust myself”

#5. “I’ll figure it out”

Why? This is a statement of trust in yourself. It’s a vote of confidence in your ability to roll with the punches and learn from the situation — with no need to worry.

“Three bricklayers are asked: ‘What are you doing?’ The first says, ‘I am laying bricks.’ The second says, ‘I am building a church.’ And the third says, ‘I am building the house of God.’ The first bricklayer has a job. The second has a career. The third has a calling.”

— Angela Duckworth, Author of Grit

#6. “I am practising in public”

Why? Perfectionism is the deathbed of creativity. But if we’re willing to learn and grow in public, then we get better faster, gain feedback quickly, and adopt a growth mentality.

#7. “I expected a challenge… good!”

Why? Said with the confidence of a young Simba saying, “I laugh in the face of danger.” Every challenge is opportunity to learn and grow, otherwise it wouldn’t be a challenge!

#8. “It’s not a failure if I learn something”

#9. “Effort is necessary and I can give it that.”

#10. “I trust the process.”

“Grit is not just about stubborn persistence. It’s also about choosing the right goals.”

— Angela Duckworth, author of Grit

#11. “Good things take time.”

Why? Because often we have the correct destination, we are doing the right things, but we can’t control the timing of the outcome. Extending your time horizon will keep you going.

#12. “I focus on what is in my control."

#13. “Patience is a requirement for long-term plays.”

#14. “Blessed are the flexible… for they will not break!”

#15. “My process determines my distance.”

“Without effort, your talent is nothing more than your unmet potential.”